Monday chuckles

A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon. Four worms were placed into four separate jars.

The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.
The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.

At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:
The first worm in alcohol - Dead.
The second worm in cigarette smoke - Dead.
Third worm in chocolate syrup - Dead.
The fourth worm in good clean soil - Alive.

So the Minister asked the congregation - What can you learn from this demonstration?
A little old woman in the back quickly raised her hand and said, "As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won't have worms!"

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A big corporation recently hired several cannibals. "You are all part of our team now," said the Human Resources representative during the welcoming briefing.
"You get all the usual benefits and you can go to the cafeteria for something to eat, but please do not eat any of the other employees."
The cannibals promised they would not.
Four weeks later their boss remarked, "You're all working very hard and I'm very satisfied with you; however, one of our Administrative Assistansts has disappeared. Do any of you know what happened to her?"
The cannibals all shook their heads 'No.'
After the boss left, the leader of the cannibals said to the others:
"Which one of you idiots ate the Assistant?"
A hand rose hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibal shouted, "You fool!!! For four weeks we've been eating managers and no one noticed anything! But noooooo, you had to go and eat someone important!!!!"